Fuckin’ Mustard
Ben Stoddard - January 27, 2012 - Comments (0)
I just bought my last Metrocard
Ben Stoddard - December 29, 2011 - Comments (0)
I’m moving to LA at the end of January and, given its 30 day life, the Metrocard I bought this morning will take me through the span of my time left in New York.
It’s a little strange and weird. Certainly I’m sad to be leaving the city. But I just watched Drive and I assume LA is exactly like that. And constantly soaked in retro-synth sounds.
You can’t be Jewish in America / All the Jews are in America
Ben Stoddard - November 30, 2011 - Comments (0)
Today in funny pairings, Israel’s Ministry of Immigrant Absorption (not the ones who did “Paper Planes”) have released a series of commercials warning Israeli expats they will lose their Jewish identities here in America.
Jeffery “I’m just guessing” Goldberg details it all over at the Atlantic. I think I prefer his plan for a ”Hey, Shmulik, your mother misses you” campaign.
Also just released was a study by the Jewish Daily Forward saying more Russian-speaking Jews live in Brooklyn than anywhere else in the world. A study surprising absolutely no one.
More importantly, I had an idea for a new reality show. Get 10 kvetchy Jewish comedians in one house all competing to be the first one kicked off the show. Get Larry David and Seinfeld and Ruxin and, really, it’s a long list.
via NYMag and L Magazine
Das Racist was on teevee
Ben Stoddard - November 29, 2011 - Comments (1)
Does anyone have the number of the girl double-fisting the cymbal? Seriously, I bet that’s a great hanjo.
My apartment is officially trying to kill me
Ben Stoddard - March 10, 2011 - Comments (218)
It’s official: my apartment has moved from sinister plotting directly into actively working to throw me off this mortal coil.
Is it through some sort of black fungus, growing murky and secret behind some unseen corner of my closet? No. A radiator that is so many times hotter than the surface of the sun, I touched it and my fingers became a previously-unseen ninth state of matter? Nope.
“Newsflash:” you can’t get a cab to Brooklyn
Ben Stoddard - March 10, 2011 - Comments (195)
I know! I was as shocked as you were. The Taxi/Limo Commission did an undercover sting and found that half—half!—of the time, they couldn’t get a cabbie to go to the outer boroughs.
Excuses ranged from, “I don’t have a map,” to “What is this, Brooklyn?” to the slightly less common, “Gus Polinski, how are you? Polka King of the Midwest? The Kenosha Kickers? No?”