Kat Yeary - February 15, 2012 - Comments (2)
Mattel made a hoverboard. It doesn’t hover.
Instead of the fulfillment of a lifetime (MY ENTIRE LIFE) of fantasizing about my magical, McFlyAss future, we have instead been given a half-assed skateboard-with-sound-effects. Sorry Mom, I asked for a giant laser so that I could destroy martians, not this plastic piece of shit with a tiny strobe light and the alarm from a clock radio. This is worse than when 2002 came and 0% of 3-2-1 Contact’s predictions (Flying Cars, Space Tourism) came true. I’m depressed. I’m also incredibly spoiled. While we’re at it, if Apple is so great, why don’t I communicate via Hologram?